From Fast Company’s article How To Coach Your Brain To Stop Being Mad At Someone by Art Markman:
- Understand the purpose of anger.
- Anger is part of a motivational system that gets you riled up whenever you do not get what you want. In the past, the strength that anger gives you can help you win against another caveman. In the modern world though, most fights are verbal and emotional, so these quarrels are no longer won by adrenaline-driven physical might. Thus, the power that anger gives is now largely unnecessary.
- Try to forgive the other person.
- The forgiver gains more than the forgiven.
- To truly forgive, one must forget the nitty-gritty aspects of what the other person did to you because constantly remembering those things will fuel your anger.
- Forgetting the details deactivates the motivational system.
- “You may always be wary of them, and you may not fully trust them ever again, but that’s different than staying mad.”
- Think about the situation differently
- If you can’t forgive, think about other things. My idea: When I remember what that person did and I get mad, I will do crafts.
- Make lemonade out of lemons. My realization: This has led me to do research on understanding anger.
- Think of the situation from the other person’s perspective. Consider that their behavior was because of circumstances and not because of their innate character.
- I need to reflect on these points
- I need to think of action points related to the advice from this article